Plan B is the new Plan A
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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