Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
