3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
