You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
be right there i have to get my cape
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
