So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Less talking, more tequila
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize