what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
