I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
