I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
