who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
