Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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