I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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