I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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