I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize