You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize