I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How external is "for external use only"?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
