just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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