im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
