I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize