He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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