So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
