NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I AM VODKA MAN
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
