Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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