When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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