you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
porn star boner night. come get it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
