Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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