hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
