At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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