i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize