Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
