He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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