so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
