David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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