You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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