Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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