The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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