Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
