you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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