I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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