3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
