Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
