i will never coherently bang her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize