are you so shy because you have an std?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
