I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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