so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
