You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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