is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
