When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You need a sexual gate keeper
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
