theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
