Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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