Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
