i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
