dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
