well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
did you just send me my own nude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
