I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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