i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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