4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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