It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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