He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
