he thought i was a dude.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
