if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
